Tuesday, December 27, 2005

God Rest Ye

The Twelve Lows of Christmas (in no particular order)

1) Not getting the happy, free-range, nourished-on-organic-you-name-it turkey we'd ordered from the co-op, due to a mix-up that was pretty much entirely my fault.
2) Misplacing all my modifiers (see above).
3) Discovering the "fresh" Hyvee turkey we purchased at the last minute was actually just defrosted: the glaze of pink ice across its dreadfully naked haunches gave it away.
4) Picking up the Urplet after his Christmas afternoon nap and realizing that the sticky substance covering him, and now me, was a nap's worth of runny poop.
5) Finally getting a much-anticipated movie date with The Tall Doctor, while my family watched the kids, only to arrive at the theater and find everything we wanted to see sold out.
6) A sudden Rabbit refusal to wear clothes of any kind, ever,
7) or eat anything but soy milk. Which isn't even technically eating; it's drinking, so there.
8) The storms of Rabbit sorrow precipitated by the enforced donning of clothes, say to go out in twenty degree weather.
9) Navigating a small house in winter with five adults and two boys under three.
10) Cedar Rapids getting fogged in the day everyone was supposed to leave, so that my brother had to take a BUS to MOLINE to get a flight to CINCINNATI, to get another flight to Boston.
11) Also, so that my parents had to reschedule for a flight leaving at seven pm and dumping them in Boston at one am. Which is just uncivilized.
12) My brother removing the turkey from the oven only to find that there was a hole in the bottom of the pan. A hole from which grease streamed. Sad news for the new suede Christmas shoes.

The Twelve Highs of Christmas

1) Watching the Rabbit tuck himself under his Grandfather's arm and listen to hours of Beatrix Potter.
2) Watching the Rabbit unwrap one present at a time, then remove himself to his playroom to play with it quietly for half an hour or so before returning to unwrap another present.
3) The Urplet deciding, for reasons of his own, to sleep through the night three nights running.
4) Waking up to the Rabbit sitting beside me on the bed and gently patting my cheeks while whispering, "Sorry to wake you up, Mama."
5) Singing carols in a candlelit church. OK, so it was only for five minutes, before both boys melted down, but dammit, it was a GOOD five minutes.
6). Sitting down around the table the first night of my family's visit and realizing that a lot of the people I love in the world were right here, healthy, in the room with me.
7) NO CALL for either the Tall Doctor or myself. Two medical professionals, one of whom does ER work, one major holiday, four straight days off. Unbelievable.
8) A rockin' new canvas "guy bag" from Territory Ahead; it's now the coolest diaper bag in the IC
9) My brother's face when he opened the large, really rather nice silver piggy bank I gave him. Everyone wants a Capitalist Pig.
10) Lots and lots of pecan pie
11) with whipped cream
12) This moment right now, with the fire and the tree and the sleeping kids and the Tall Doctor perusing The Economist (subscription to which was a gift from my brother) and a little peace seeping into my particular corner of Earth.


Anonymous MFA Mama said...

Ahhh...next year we're going to have a good holiday like that, and until then you've done a magnificent job of rendering yours so that I can live vicariously through the glorious detail (although I'd have to add an extra kid, subtract the extended family, multiply the poop exponentially...nevermind you get the point). Happy happy :-)

P.S. oh and what is WITH the soymilk? My Middle guy is on a soymilk binge currently, refusing all else, and the big one would do it, too, if he wasn't old enough to understand "eat or your toys go back to Santa" (cuz yeah, I'm mean like that).

6:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


your biggest WV fan (and getting bigger -- now 18 and 3 weeks)

7:54 AM  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

Glad to hear the good evened out with the not-so...May 2006 be just as symmetrical--or something!

1:36 PM  
Blogger Brando said...

I am sorry to hear the Bumpis's hounds ate your free-range turkey, but glad you had a Christmas surrounded by loved ones. If only there had been Christmas timpano!

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Nothing But Bonfires said...

There must be something wrong with me because I'm a little teary-eyed at your list. I mean, not about the new suede shoes (that deserves its own separate teariness) but the one about everyone being in the same room, happy and healthy and loved. I know just how you feel -- when I'm home with my parents and siblings and everyone's in the same house, only THEN can I sleep properly.

Oh god, must find tissues. Eyes are leaking.

5:53 AM  

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