Monday, November 28, 2005

What To Do When It Gets Cold (And You're A Cat)

We have two cats, Yellow and Varmint. They are vain, so they've chosen to have me reveal their real names here, and they are, respectively, a fat orange shorthaired neutered male, and a slim fluffy pink neutered male. They are also no help at all around the house. Often, when I'm juggling two very heavy boys, a saucepan of burning macaroni, a telephone, and a buzzing oven timer, I look up to find them lying on the couch in comfortable heaps, radiating contentment with their lots. They also like to stretch out luxuriously on the down comforter in the morning just as I'm girding my loins to heave myself out of bed. Or they curl up before the fire and blink at me as I zip up my coat to go to work on a rainy November afternoon. In other words, they're useless and they flaunt it.

In fact, Varmint has reached new lows of uselessness today. It got cold and windy and misty and rainy this afternoon, and yet Varmint was begging to go out. So I let him out. Then I turned around and found him looking in the window with his ears flattened and his eyes slitted. So I let him in. Then I turned around and found him staring back out the window, woefully. So I let him out. Then I turned around and found him looking in the window with his ears flattened and his eyes slitted. So I let him in. Then I turned around...and this went on for five more rounds. I counted. By the end, the Rabbit was letting him in and out by himself. And no, I'm not entirely sure to whom that last pronoun refers.

Now I ask you, can you honestly say you had more fun that that this evening?

3 Comments:

Blogger DoctorMama said...

Varmint embodies the essence of Cat.
One of our cats is actually helpful -- he allows the baby to chase him around, always staying just out of reach. Can give me a much-needed ten-minute break.

7:40 AM  
Blogger SER said...

Varmint is hilarious. I was just reminiscing about his first meeting with Mark, when he trotted up to Mark, somehow not realizing that Mark was a dog until he was very close to him. Oh, the look of horror that crossed Varmint's dazed little face when he realized he was about three inches away from a puppy!

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Nothing But Bonfires said...

Varmint and Yellow are two of the best cat names I've heard in forever. And they go together so well.

6:30 PM  

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